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When I went to the OB on Thursday, they weighed me, as they always do. I’d gained eight pounds in two weeks. And my belly had turned from a 35 centimeter watermelon to a 40 centimeter beach ball. Well, it would be a beach ball, if beach balls were filled with lead.

I’d told Doug all week that I could swear I felt the babies growing. Turns out I wasn’t making that up. I really was feeling them grow. A lot. Which is of course good for them … and horrible for my back.

Luckily, I still have my baby hugger lift. Of course, it’s only meant to support pregnant women’s bellies until said women actually have their baby, which most women do by the time they measure 40 centimeters. I, on the other hand, still have (I hope, for the babies’ sake) at least two more weeks in which the babies – and my belly – can grow.

I don’t think the baby hugger’s up for it.

On Friday, Doug came into the bedroom while I was dressing. I had on my undies, a camisole, and the girdle part of my baby hugger. He laughed out loud. “I’m going to miss this,” he said.

“Miss what? Mocking me?” I fastened the velcro-and-elastic suspenders under my belly.

“That too.”

I made a sour face at him and pulled the suspenders over my shoulders and down to my belly. It was a bit of a stretch, even for the elastic. When I fastened the suspenders to the girdle, the velcro didn’t hold. The suspenders flew up and hit me in the face.

Doug laughed again. “Yep,” he said, “I am really going to miss this.”

Let’s just say I’m not. Pregnancy is humiliating enough without having to deal with vengeful undergarments.

****

P.S. On a completely unrelated note, over on the fiction page, I’ve posted a new story, “Purple Hyacinth.” I’d love to hear what you think.

Today, I have the privilege of interviewing Carla McDougal, the founder of Reflective Life Ministries and author of Reflecting Him: Living for Jesus and Loving It.

Like I soon will be, Carla is the mother of four children – though hers are more than a decade older than mine, which probably explains why she has time and energy to run an organization, speak at conferences around the country and across the globe, keep up with her weekly e-votional, and write a book to boot.

Or maybe that doesn’t really explain anything. Maybe that’s just me making excuses. At any rate, I’d rather let Carla speak for herself – as no doubt, would you.

KCI: So, Carla, please tell us: how do you manage to balance mothering, writing, and speaking?

CM: Before I ever moved into ministry my husband and I prayed. I knew it was vital that I receive God’s blessing. Once this confirmation came I talked with my children. I remember when Carly, our youngest, was 12, I asked if she minded if I was away from home to speak at conferences and retreats. Her reply imprinted a mark on my heart as she said, “Mama, you have to do this because this is what God has made you to be!”

One of the challenges, as well as temptations, is to reverse the order and allow the ministry to become the focus. For me the Lord has to be first and foremost… my husband next… then my children… then ministry. Now that Carly is 16 she comes to most of my events and helps out. It is so much fun! Basically, it is important to follow behind Jesus in ministry and not try to jump ahead of Him. When this is the pattern, the whole family is affected in a powerful way!

KCI: In the Week One introduction, you briefly mention your struggle with depression. As someone who’s lived with depression, I wanted you to say more about this.

CM: Depression. I never thought it could be me. No one else would have thought it either. On the outside, I appeared as the perfect Christian wife and mom. I wore that mask well. No one, not even my husband, knew that behind this veil was a woman gasping for breath to live.

KCI: What triggered your depression?

CM: Order. Organization. Control! The perfect receipt for depression. From the time I can remember, I liked things or my life to be in order. Organization was my middle name. After a few years of marriage and four children the “Out of Control Syndrome” invaded my life.

KCI: How long did it take you to realize what the problem was? What (if anything) was the catalyst for this realization?

CM: Honestly, it was a slow process. When it all came to the surface I was about 35 years old. But, to be honest, the depression had been building up in me over time.

The night before reality hit I couldn’t pray anything but the words, “God, help!” Nothing else would emerge from my lips. At that moment the process of healing began. My yearly visit to the doctor was the next day. After fainting in the examining room, the nurse and doctor said, “We’re going to help you.” Come to find out my adrenal gland was totally shut off which triggered a major hormone imbalance. Physically, I began the road to recovery. Mentally, God began to redirect my pattern of thinking and habits. Spiritually, I realized I am not in control of anything. At that point, my walk with Christ took a different turn. Even now as I type these words tears well up in my eyes as I think of how God’s grace and mercy poured out on me through the words “God, help!”

KCI: How supportive was your family and your community as you walked the road to healing?

CM: God used all of them in my life. My children were too young to grasp what was happening. But my husband carried me through the healing with his prayers, love and support. My parents prayed night and day. Friends brought food, took my children for the day, prayed with me, listened, and more.

KCI: What prompted you to write this study?

CM: After speaking at retreats, events and conference for five years I began to notice a question asked repeatedly: “Carla, how do I learn to see God in my daily life? You share your everyday experiences with us and continually find a spiritual application in it. How do I learn to see things like this?” The birth of this Bible study came from the heart of this question. God is at work around us 24/7. But, sometimes we are so busy with our own agendas we don’t recognize His life lessons.

KCI: What was the most difficult part of writing this study?

CM: The writing and rewriting, editing and rereading process! There were times I thought, “There is no way I can do this again.”

KCI: What was the most fun part?

I absolutely love watching how God puzzles people together to accomplish His purposes! If you have time please read my newest blog entry called “Heart Puzzles.”

KCI: I read Carla’s post, and I agree: all the serendipities and “coincidences” she recounts are really fun.

Carla’s book, Reflecting Him: Living for Jesus and Loving It is a ten-week women’s Bible study. Like Jesus’ parables, which teach by creating visual pictures for the reader, Reflecting Him uses familiar objects and situations (such as our five sense, the rooms of a house, even driving) and draws comparisons to help women become aware of Jesus in their daily lives.

You can read the first two chapters (or weeks) online.

Or you can leave a comment and if Jack-the-random-number-generator picks your comment number, I’ll send you a free copy of the study.

The Big V

Big V
Little v
What begins with V?
Very
Violet
Vinegar
And vasectomy!

(With sincerest apologies to Dr. Suess.)

On Sunday, as we drove to the hospital (yes, we went to the hospital again on Sunday. It’s a long story, but the upshot was that I spent two and a half hours on the monitors and was sent home feeling like the world’s biggest drama queen.) Anyhoo, as we drove to the hospital, Doug said, “Apparently, we’re really having an impact at church.”

“What do you mean?”

“I talked to Adam Carlisle [not his real name] today, and he and Claire have decided not to have a third child because of us.” Doug laughed.

I rolled my eyes.

This is the third couple who’s told me this. The first was a friend who laughingly informed me that she told her husband about our twins on Friday night. On Monday morning, he scheduled his vasectomy – which he’d been putting off for eight months.

The wife of the second couple really wanted another child, but her husband had been sitting on the fence about it for over a year. When they found out we were having twins, he said there was no way in God’s green earth he was having another child who might turn out to be two children. He leaped off the fence and ran as fast as he could to the doctor’s office.

And now the Carlisles.

Ah, yes. My life has become a cautionary tale.

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